My Battle Against Bullies: Divide and Conquer

 

Modupe in 1978

I won't be Bullied

I attracted a lot of attention as a child for some reason. Perhaps it was I developed early or because of my dedication to my studies. All I know is that for some reason, I became the target of a bunch of girls who were around my age. At first, it started as a cruel form of teasing, and I endured it, but it soon became full on bullying.

I still cannot explain why they picked me as a target, but they would gang up, beat me and take my money from me. Had it been anyone else, they would have dropped out of school due to the shame that came with being bullied publicly but this was not an option for me. I loved school and my father took pride in how well I excelled at my schoolwork. Yet the situation persisted, and I could not endure it anymore. I knew I had to find a solution.

As I kept thinking it about how to resolve the situation, it occurred to me one day that my bullies might not be as big a threat as I had thought. They were only a threat when I assessed them as a group. I analysed the strengths of each girl in that group, and I realized that if it ever came down to a one-on-one fight with any of them, they could not take me on. I was much bigger and stronger. Their only advantage was in attacking me as a group, which made it difficult for me to defend myself. I decided that I needed to somehow make them face me individually and I found a way to do this.

I took note of the route each of the girls took home and at what points on their journeys they would be away from the group and so I would wait for them on that path and confront them. One after the other I laid in wait for them and ensured that at the end of each confrontation the person involved was thoroughly contrite. This strategy ended up being my deliverance from the group bullying. 

Having served each of them their own form of justice, I noticed that the girls started to avoid me. They no longer attacked me whether individually or as a group. The bullying stopped and finally, I could attend school and focus on my schoolwork without fear or shame.

This experience helped me appreciate the “divide and conquer” approach to problems. Whenever a group of people or a situation is likely to be stronger than you or overwhelm you, find ways to start divide it into manageable chunks and conquer them one by one and you will win.